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Keeping Our Hearts Safe
This is a favorite quote of mine from CS Lewis, one of my favorite authors. Most people know him as the author of the Chronicles of Narnia, but he was a leading Christian intellectual of the 20th...
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Working Through
Greetings Gentle Readers, First, may I say thank you so much for all the encouragement and support from everyone? Knowing I am not alone, knowing that there are safe people, that there are people I can...
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Sitting
Greetings Gentle Readers, I know I have been quiet as of late. News of both my brother’s death and my aunt’s revelations have knocked me off-balance and sent me back into my past in a way that has not...
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Memorable Quotes
Had another very intense session with BN today who remains, thank heaven, completely unflappable. I’m starting to feel this insane impulse to just keep stepping up my behavior to find the breaking...
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Emerging from the drug haze
Trigger warning: Suicidal thoughts Greetings, gentle readers, I have missed you. I am sorry for the long silence. My doctor, in what turned out to be a VERY frustrating experience, as part of the...
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The Whole Story of the No
In my post I HATE hearing no, I talked about BN saying no to something I asked for but didn’t go into too many details. Some of it was lack of time, but I suspect, gentle readers, that some of it was...
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It’s still no, but still helpful
I am back with the promised update on my last session with BN. (For background, see my previous post The Whole Story of the No.) It was an intense, difficult session but a very productive one and I...
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Sorting the Past
In the comments after my last post, It’s still no, but still helpful, a number of questions were asked that I felt needed a longer answer than I would want to put in a comment and since they were all...
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What I missed
Since I’ve been on the topic of how we work through our grief for that which we did not have, I thought I would share some particulars losses I ran into and what was underneath them. As I’ve worked my...
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Why keep going back?
***Trigger warning: Religious content, I talk about my Christian faith in pretty specific terms late in the post. A reader emailed to ask me a question whose answer I thought would make a good topic...
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Wanted, not needed, to go
Greetings dear readers, First I want to say thank you to all of you who commented and read my last post (Therapy isn’t enough Redux) and all the support you offered. There was a lot of very wise...
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The Ache of Longing and Loss
Greetings gentle readers, I know my posting has been rather scant lately. I have been doing some really intense work in therapy and sometimes when I am in the midst of deep work, it can be hard to...
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Triggered or Freefall continued.
I am on a two-week break from BN (Almost done, I see him Friday). Our last session was spent discussing my recovering the existential free fall memory and was very helpful. I’ve been doing a lot of...
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Freedom, A Cool Wind That Burns Your Face – Part II
Tiny Tom:I’m frightened! Bobby: As well you should be. Freedom is scary. It’s a blast of cool wind that burns your face to wake you up. – Run, Freedom, Run from Urinetown the Musical This is part II...
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Encouragement for Those Who Are Weary
Greetings gentle readers, I ran across an old song I haven’t heard in years that I wanted to share. I loved the song when it first came out in 1979 (for those of you born after that year, there is no...
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